What happened to handsome Tom Brady and how did the unstoppable Patriots lose in SuperBowl XLII? The Patriots hadn't covered a spread in 10 plus weeks. The GGGGGG Men had won 9 straight road games (more on Berman in a minute or two). By all means this seemed to be the perfect scenario for Handsome Tom to throw for 400 yards and 5 scores. I had a vivid image of Eli standing on the sidelines, hands in the collar of his shoulder pads, hat already on, barely broken a sweat, wondering what slapped him in that slack jaw of his. 12 points...it's all the Patriots needed to win by. This was the same team that mere months ago were 20 point favorites on a week to week basis and no one thought twice about laying the points. Again, this SEEMED to be the perfect scenario for a New England blowout.
Instead, I woke up from my annual Super Sunday hangover in a daze. I couldn't find my BVD's. I was laying on the floor. And the Giants were SuperBowl champions. This is the same Giants team that I bet against v. the Bucs and if properly bankrolled would have played against the Packers. There was just no way Eli kept winning on the road, right? Tom Brady and the Patriots got too big for their own good. This was a case of the classic bully. It was all too good to be true for them. The golden child Brady, dating the super model, showing up on TMZ because he has a walking boot on. The Patriots obviously took the Giants for granted and finally got what they deserved after the consistent bludgeonings that Billy Belichik and Brady dished out week after week.After enduring chaos before the storm at Jewel before the game to buy all the chips, dips, shrimps my dirty money can buy and drinking all the beer my body could handle on Jesus' day, i am not quite sure what I watched. The game was not entertaining. Plain and simple. Anyone who says it was a "great" game is lying and should be branded as such with a scarlet letter. The 4th quarter was great. That is all. The entire first quarter was summed up by a methodical 10 minute drive by Eli and the Giants that ended with footballs favorite Scot Larry Tynes drilling the uprights for three. That, ladies and gentleman, is not excitement in football. Not when the total is set for 53 points, and the two teams played to the tune of a Patriots 38 - 35 win in week 17.
When it's all said and done I can take only sporadic things home with me. Eli Manning is a legitimate NFL quarterback. Both he and pussy boy Phillipe Rivers proved their worth in the playoffs (and I would like Rivers a helluva lot more if he would keep his mouth shut). Tom Brady is human. He played a mediocre game against the best pass rush in the NFL. Granted he played half the game on his back whilst being molested by snaggle tooth Strahan and Dookie Umenyiora and still put up 250 plus...he still could not manage more than 14 points? The same guy who threw 51 during the season and at times made Peyton Manning seem pedestrian? The same guy who is the leagues MVP? And to think he scoffed at Plax Burress prediction of 23-17. If I would have told you the Giants would score 17 points and then asked you who would win the game, 99 out of 100 people would pick the Patriots. So while Brady didn't play a bad game...he couldn't will them to a victory. Perhaps it was the opening drive that ended up being the proverbial dagger after all and kept Brady and the Patriots from ultimately finding their rhythm against a solid Giants team.Final thoughts as I try to get my life in order, renew old relationships lost during the season, and pay off 20 weeks of ill advised bets:
- One thing I do know about the 01-02 Rams & 07-08 Pats comparisons are that Tom Brady will be back. He is a star. Absolutely transcends the game. While Kurt Warner has been relegated to a back up and lets his bull wife do the talking for him. Only person with less pull over his lady has got to be Doug Christie.
- There was an article last week all over the country that a vast majority of men are not afraid to admit they have a crush on Tom Brady. Are you kidding me? We may all look back on this one day and wonder what the hell we were thinking, like tight rolling jeans and slap bracelets. At least I don't feel weird about having a Tom Brady "Got Milk?" poster in my room anymore.
- 97 million people watched the SuperBowl. I have a feeling that 97 million people won't vote. God I love this country.
- Blowup of the year has got to go to Chris Berman. Take it easy fat body. There is no need to snap off on your interns because they are walking around. It was obviously a taping anyway since Berman couldn't drop bows like that on live TV. I never understood the hatred that the general sporting public has on Berman. After this temper tantrum it's pretty clear the guy is a pompous boob who has become too big for his own good.
- Congratulations, we all survived the verbal BJ's dished out on an hourly basis by the four letter network to the Patriots and New York. It's not Yankees / Red Sawx, but a victory none-the-less.
- The '72 Dolphins should go away forever. They are finished. Goodbye Mercury Morris. Goodbye Don Shula and Larry F'ing Csonka. The Pats won more consecutive games than them by going 16-0 and shattering their record of 14-0. Then lost in the SuperBowl to a 10-6 team. This could not have worked out better in my eyes. I don't need to acknowledge either of them as the greatest team of all time. Instead I can say the '85 Bears, a team I remember exactly zero live snaps from, are the greatest team of all time. At least I remember the SuperBowl Shuffle as it happened.
- Every year I forget how I spent the following February. It is a month that I have had to mentally block since I started watching football. The tournament cannot come fast enough. So until September I say goodbye NFL, goodbye Sunday funday, and goodbye 2007 Patriots.
