Since when did the FLN become the judge and jury? Since when did the network's baseball analysts become members of the Judicial Branch of government? Who told the radio talk show hosts that they now are considered experts on the legal system and should conduct themselves as such? Did I miss the memo? Is everyone with a microphone and a camera now eligible to give legal advice?I haven't seen this many ignorant blowhards pass judgement on people and topics they know nothing about since my mother joined a pottery class with the neighborhood housewives who had nothing better to do than to gossip about who was cheating on their husband, who had gained weight, who's kid was arrested, and which menopausal idiot was their favorite on The View.
Listening to Colin Cowherd this morning, I was alarmed at how 100% sure he was of Clemons' guilt. It seemed as if he knew something I didn't, that he was privied to the inter-workings of The Rocket's legal staff.
"If you are still naive enough to believe he might be innocent, I feel sorry for you."
"Just look at his statistics over the last decade. That's proof by itself."
"I'm watching Roger parading himself around Capital Hill over the last week as though he is some sort of lobbyist, and I think it's just so transparant."
You must read minds pretty well, Colin. Remind me to come to you before I pick which prostitute I'm going to screw this weekend so I know if she's telling me the truth about whether or not she really has chlamydia.
I go to the FLN's homepage this morning and the first thing I see is a photo of a blacklisted former fitness trainer named Radomski who has Sammy the Bulled on anyone and everyone who has ever come to him for help in confidence. I read about how congress won't be needing to subpeona Pettite to testify against Clemons, reportedly because his story coincides with McNamee's. I find it more and more fascinating how accurately these men can recall conversations they've had with each other nearly 10 years ago. I can't even remember the previous sentence that I just wrote. And now I understand McNamee's defense team is researching like Einstein for the Manhattan Project, trying to find a witness that can place Clemons at a Jose Canseco party a decade ago, as if that somehow proves Clemons used HGH.
And so I ask, is this what it's come down to - Tabloid Journalism? Do the network kingpins really believe this is what people want to read about? If we're lucky, they'll go back to analyzing the effects of Tony Romo's vacation with Jessica Simpson on his playoff performance. Then I'll cross my fingers and pray they'll cover Heath Ledger's autopsy report. While they're at it, maybe someone can discuss Anna Nicole Smith's death.
When can we get back to sports? Why can't we get back to sports? You say it's because of the ratings. People are too busy in their lives to dedicate their rare time and energy to strategy and matchups and the intricacies of the games. They'd much rather tune in for 10 minutes, hear about a celebrity's recent overdose, and then move onto the next channel. Hey, you gotta give the people what they want. The answer to every question in the history of the world can be answered with one word: money. That's it, that's all. It is what it is.
Colin Cowherd said this morning, "Hey, I'm as guilty as anyone in this. I'm too busy to care about young prospects on the Memphis Grizzlies. I'd much rather hear about Manny and Jeter and A-Rod and Schilling and Pedro and Brady and Eli. That's just the way the world is."
The world is what we make of it, Colin. Not everyone in the country lives on the East Coast and is obsessed with Roger Clemons and HGH. We need to get back to basics. We need to get back to sports.
