NBA GMs are putting their reputation as cowards to the test after a handful of moves over the last 2 weeks that have completely shaken up the league. After trades of Pau Gasol, Shaquille O'Neal, Jason Kidd, Shawn Marion, and Mike Bibby, GM's and coaches alike are risking their jobs in an effort to win this season. On the day before the trade deadline, I've decided to skip my usual work/porn watching/workout/pornwatching/dinner/pornwatching routine and give some suggestions to each team.
Atlanta Hawks: Just completed a terrific trade in order to land proven playoff performer Mike Bibby, a black man so pale, he makes Derek Jeter look like Manute Bol. It took them half the season to learn what everyone else in the league already knew: that Acie Law, like most rookie point guards not named Chris Paul or Deron Williams, is not ready to start on a playoff team. Bibby's arrival will guarantee them a spot in the playoffs in place of another undeserving Eastern Conference team. If they don't make it, Woodson's a worse coach than we all thought. Next step for the Hawks: get something for Josh Childress. He's a stud and the Hawks aren't going to re-sign him. Should look for a big man to help Horford down low.
Boston Celtics: The severity of KG's abdominal strain has caused me more sleepless nights than my drug addiction. Good thing Doc "I'm the least intelligent man ever nicknamed Doc" Rivers was playing him over 35 minutes a game. Some have argued that KG's MVP push is hurt by the team's ability to continue to win despite his absense. Don't listen to them. The Celtics sustained success points to the power of "The KG Impact." He has brought a winning atmosphere and a balls-out attitude to the team. You can't measure his influence. They still need a backup point though (Chris Duhon would be perfect, Sam Cassell would be more perfect). Rondo is solid, but Billups will eat him up in the 7 game series they will play in May.
Charlotte Bobcats: Lord MJ's project hasn't paid dividends just yet, and to be honest, it doesn't look like it will any time soon. Love J. Rich and Gerald Wallace. Okafor and Muhammed are solid up front. But this team lacks leadership, direction, an offensive post presence, and to top it off, has been injury prone. MJ's signings have worked out well: bringing in Wallace, the trades for Richardson and Muhammed. But his drafts have been poor. He took Raymond Felton to be his future point (unfortunately CP3 and D. Will had already gone) . However, Felton is, at best, an undersized 2 and is more suited to come off the bench. Hence the recent starts of UNC alum point guard Jeff McInnis, who apparently is not dead, as originally thought. Then he followed it up with the draft of Adam Morrison over Brandon Roy, Randy Foye, and Rajon Rondo. Next to Billy Knight's draft of Sheldon Williams, this was perhaps the worst pick in the first round of '06. They need Sean May to come back strong next year. And they need to either trade for Kyle Lowry or draft D.J. Augustin. (You'll see Lowry's name littered throughout this article like dead bodies in the streets of Iraq.) Of course, if Derrick Rose falls to them, they have to take him.
Chicago Bulls: So close, yet so far. The 4 steps needed to fix the Bulls.
1) Trade away either Kirk Hinrich or Ben Gordon. One of them has to go. You can't carry two undersized 2-guards on the team, one of which can score but can't guard anybody, the other of which can guard anyone but can't score. Unless you have a tall point guard, neither of them can start. One's gotta go.
2) Play,... please play Thabo, Tyrus and Joachim. They'll need the experience to make next year's playoff run. Thabo is getting the p.t. and is performing. Joachim's and Tyrus' minutes are all over the map. If they are not winning with vets like Joe Smith and Big Ben starting, then it's time to go young. Put them out there together. See what they can do. A starting front line of Deng, Thomas and Noah should be scary for a long time.
3) Trade Chris Duhon. He's in his last year of his contract. He's not expected to be re-signed. He'd be a great backup point guard for a number of playoff teams. At this point, keeping him for the remainder of the season would make about as much sense as a toll booth guy asking each driver, "What can I do for you today?" The C-Du experiment is over. Time for him to go.
4) Get a true point guard. I know, easier said than done. But they are out there, and Kirk Hinrich isn't one of them. Lowry is on the block and he's a bulldog on D that would fit nicely with the Bulls' guard-oriented, attacking style. The better route would be to go after Shawn Livingston. He's coming off of a Theisman-esque injury so teams will be hesitant. But the Clippers should be and will be in unload mode, dumping contracts left and right because they're out of the race in the West. Maggette, Brand, Cassell, Mobley, and Livingston all should be available soon. The idea of a backcourt featuring 2 6'7'' guards, with Deng, Thomas, and Noah upfront will strike fear in the hearts of opponents.
Cleveland Cavs: If you're Danny Ferry, just do whatever LeBron wants, period. If he says to paint the walls of the arena pink, do it. If he says to publically renounce Duke and call Coach K a raging homosexual, do it. If he says to sell your soul and the souls of your children, do it. The fact they couldn't get a point guard to come to play with Lebron is pathetic. Boobie, Hughes, Sasha, Gooden, Ilgau- screw it, EVERYBODY on that team should be on the block if LeBron says so. Bibby would have been perfect.
Dallas Mavericks: Devin Harris is a stud and will be a top five point in the game in a few years. But Cuban is in "1977 George Steinbrenner mode" and wants a ring now. Kidd will get them close. Too bad they made this deal a year too late. No way does this team beat a healthy Lakers or Suns team in 7. If they had Kidd last year, they probably beat G.S., San Anton, and Phoenix. Now their depth is going to suffer in the trade, and they still don't have enough frontline help to handle Big Fundamentals, Big Aristotle, Big Espanol (Gasol), or STAT.
Denver Nuggets: When will the league realize that an Allen Iverson-led team will NEVER win a championship. He's a complete hard-ass and I love him, but he has proven throughout his career he is the most difficult player in the league to play with. He plays hard, but rarely intelligently and often out of control. Plus he doesn't guard anybody. They need a point guard that can run. J-Kidd would work for that offense like an abortion would work for Jamie Spears. But it seems too late at this point (why they didn't offer Nene and whatever for Kidd is beyond me). Kyle Lowry would be solid addition. Crittendon would be even better. Most important is they need to get healthy, and that right quick.
Detroit Pistons: The biggest trade they need to make is to get rid of that air of invincibility that they've worn on their sleeves for the past few seasons. Someone needs to remind them they haven't done a damn thing since '04. Outside of their arrogance, I wouldn't change anything about this team. They're the deepest team in the East and, if they can avoid Chicago and Cleveland in the early rounds, should be relatively unscathed when they play Boston in the Conf. Finals. They could probably use an athletic swingman to come off the bench and score for them since Flip Murray and Afflalo aren't really doing the job. Josh Childress or Corey Maggette would look great on this team.
Golden State Warriors: They're a backup point guard and an offensive post presense away from being a real threat in the West. The C-Webb signing was a pointless publicity stunt. Maybe Minnesota should re-sign Christian Laettner or Milwaukee should go find Glenn "Big Dog" Robinson while we're at it. These people are out of the league for a reason. Webber is playing on one leg and can't jump over Kate Hudson's chest. They have Pietrus, Brandon Wright, and Patty O'Bryant to dangle as trade bait, plus Al Harrington is in and out of Don Nelson's dog house more often than Lohan is in and out of rehab. They should be able to go find at least 1 decent post scorer. (Nene or K-Mart, perhaps?)
Houston Rockets: Yao and T-Mac need a 3rd scorer desperately. The Shane Battier for Rudy Gay draft day deal may go down as the worst trade since Olden Polynice for Scottie Pippen. Scola needs to start. And as much as everyone likes "Skip-to-my-Lou", we all know this team will never make it out of the first round with him at point. Deron Williams killed him in last year's playoffs. They need to allow T-Mac to be the primary ball handler and then go get a scorer. This is another team Josh Childress would look good on. Or maybe a Lamar Odom. Or a Corey Maggete. Or a Kirk Hinrich/Ben Gordon. Gordon would average 25 per with his man always Vince Vaughn-ing on Yao.
Indiana Pacers: They're going nowhere fast, which is ironic because they're trying to play up-tempo. They hit some bad luck with Jermaine injured here at the deadline because truth is he's not even 30 and he's an all-star when healthy and still one of the best post players in the game. They want to trade him, but that contract is a killer. Tinsley's, Dunleavy's and Murphy's all suck too. Larry Legend needs to overhaul the whole team and start new. The only player they should maybe keep is Granger, but I've read Portland would be willing to give a trio of young talent for him, including Jack and Outlaw (who will be great in two years). Time to get busy livin' or get busy dyin' in Indy.
L.A. Clippers: The wasteland of professional sports, where careers come to die. Cassell, Mobley and Brand are just a few names to add to the ever growing list. Sterling is the worst owner in sports, partly because he doesn't know what he's doing and partly because he simply doesn't care. This team needs to make so many moves, I don't really know where to begin, but I'll try: A) Sit Brand and Livinston for the remainder of the year. No need to add injury to injury. B) Trade Cassell along with Paul Davis to Boston for Eddie House, Scalabrine, Gabe Pruitt and their #1. Therefore they at least get something for Cassell, plus Pruitt might blossom playing in the same city he played his college ball. C) Trade Shawn Livingston now before he opts out after next year. Perhaps a swap with the Bulls' Ben Gordon, who would thrive playing off of Chris Kaman. D) Trade Maggette to an Eastern Conference team like Miami for Haslem and D. Cook. Miami could insert Corey along side D. Wade and Marion to make three 20 point scorers. Plus they want Haslem's contract off their books anyways. Haslem would be a perfect compliment to Kaman down low. Cook, who would never play in Miami behind Wade, could be L.A.'s 2 of the future. E) Trade Mobley to a team that could use him, like Houston for the expiring contracts of Steve Francis, Kirk Snyder, and Bonzi Wells, plus their 1st rnd pick. Mobley's best years were with Houston and he's a fan favorite there. Plus his scoring and shooting touch would be immensly important. F) Trade Brand, before he opts out, to Washington for Arenas. They both want out of where they are. Arenas has proven to be unnecessary in D.C. due to Caron Butler's emergence. The Wiz are losing Jamison in the offseason so Brand would replace him at the 4. Arenas gets to come to Hollywood, where the celebrity world would embrace him. The Wiz would have to throw in Roger Mason Jr. to make the salaries work. After the completion of my outline, the Clips would have Arenas, Cook, and Ben Gordon at the guards, Al Thornton and Udonis Haslem at forward and Kaman up front. Plus they'll have their own high 1st rnd pick, Houston's mid 1st rounder and Boston's likely late 1st rounder. This would be the foundation of a young, fast, fun-to-watch franchise and it would save a ton of money.
L.A. Lakers: They already kinda beat me to the punch by getting Gasol, which should have led to the prompt dismissal of Griz GM Chris Wallace. Right now, they should stand pat and wait to get all their comrades back from injury. At full strength, Fisher, Bryant, Odom, Gasol, and Bynum is one of the best starting 5's in the game. Plus their bench amazingly goes 11 deep! Farmer, Vujacic, Walton, Ariza, Radmonovic, and Turiaf. And the Zen-Master is having them all overachieving. He always gets the best out of what he has. The inevitable Odom trade doesn't have to happen any time soon. Wait till the end of the year. Only move they should make is to send a Thank You card and a Get Well Soon card to the Grizzlies.
Memphis Griz: Speaking of these jokers, Chris Wallace's attempt to spin this trade into a positive is like watching tapes of Nixon talking about a "withdrawal with honor" from Vietnam. By this time next year he'll be jobless. Before that time is over though, he does have a chance to salvage some of the time he spent there. He can start by trading Mike Miller to the Spurs for the expiring contracts of San Fransisco Elson, Big Shot Rob, and Jacque "Stop calling me Vince" Vaughn, and a 1st round pick. It clears plenty of cap room, and the spurs would love to have an outside shooter that isn't in their 40's. Also, Wallace needs to package Lowry with Brian Cardinal's horrible contract for any expiring contract that one Isiah Thomas would give them.
Miami Heat: A prime example of how players not only should be, but NEED to be selfish when it comes to handling their contracts. Shaquille O'Neal was traded to Miami, promised a championship to a franchise that had never even sniffed the Finals before, delivered within two years, and then they traded him away as soon as they had a chance to save some coin. In the end, the franchise is in the business of making money. Their goal now should be to not piss off D.Wade. Where Shaq was shipped out, Duane might demand out. A) Try to get Rose or Beasley with their draft pick. B) Avoid DeAndre Jordan. C) Use the 7 expiring contracts they have and try to get a young big man to come to South Beach, bang some hot, broke and desparate illegal immigrants, and play with Duane Wade. Who's gonna turn that down? Also, next year they'll need to let go of Shawn Marion. They should notice right off the bat that anyone who is "OK" with being traded from the best team in the league to the worst team in the league just to have a chance to be "The Man" is not the kind of guy you want to hitch your wagon to.
Milwaukee Bucks: This franchise needs CPR almost as badly as Christian Slater's career. Does anyone even take them seriously anymore? I can completely imagine a player seeing a Bucks game on the schedule, turning to his teammate and saying, "Do I really have to go to this thing?" It seems like everyone in Milwaukee is on the bubble, from the GM to Michael Redd. They're going to build around Moe Wil, Bogut the Bigot, and Sweet Pea Yi. They need to find takers for Hairless Charlie Villanueva and Michael Redd Rover in particular to open up some cap room. They need a small forward in the Jamario Moon mold - someone who can rebound, play D, block shots and be Russian. Wait a tic, how's about AK 47 straight up for Redd? Both franchises want out from under the contracts. Korver's been huge for Utah, but is he really the answer at the 2? The Bucks need a defensive minded 3 to make up for the immense softness of Yi at the 4. Then they can focus on drafting Eric Gordon and run out Moe, Gordon, AK, Yi, and Bogut next year. Why am I not a GM? Seriously, why?
Minnesota Timberwolves: Kevin McHale has about as much right to a paycheck as the homeless guy who flags down the cab for you outside the bar. Running the Minnesota franchise into the ground isn't even the biggest blunder Lurch's long lost brother is responsible for. His real crime is wasting the prime years of Kevin Garnett. He deserves to have Kathy Bates massage his scrodum with sandpaper for what he's done. I have little to say other than Foye is an undersized 2 that will spend his career coming off the bench, Brewer is 3 or 4 years away from being productive in any way, and Marco Jaric is a master for going home to Adriana Lima every night.
New Jersey: Everyone was asking why... why, oh why would you, Rod Thorn, sign "Half Man/Half - thats it, just Half Man" to a long term deal. He's one of the most disliked players in the game. No one wants to play with him. Plus he's in his 30s and his game relies more on athletic ability than real skill. It was just a stupid signing. He was able to get Kidd's massive contract off the books for one of the best young point guards in the league, but they're really going nowhere and it's because Thorn hasn't been proactive. They need to trade Carter, even if it's for 50 cents on the dollar, and build around R. Jeff, D. Harris and that athletic young front line. Everyone says Thorn is a brilliant GM, but this is the same guy who fired Byron Scott after he led the Nets to the Finals in back-to-back years, who by the way just coached the West in the All-Star game.
New Orleans Hornets: Speaking of Byron Scott, he should be the leading candidate for Coach of the Year, along with Nate McMillan, Jerry Sloan, and Phil Jackson. He's got CP3 playing at an MVP level, he's turned David West into an all-star out of nowhere, and he's resurrected Tyson C's career faster than what Pulp Fiction did for John Travolta. They need that Anthony Parker/Bruce Bowen type at the 2 to check the opponent's top scorer. And they need a scorer off the bench (B. Jack ain't cuttin' it). But Scott has them on the right path to join the Jazz, Lakers, and Blazers as serious contenders in the West for the next 5 to 7 years.
New York Knicks: Although I am not a fan of his, Isiah is the 2nd best point guard in history behind Magic. That's a bold statement since that puts him ahead of Cousy, Oscar, Stockton, and Jason Kidd. But at this point, as terrific as he was as a player (I mean, we're talking about the greatest little man ever), he's an even worse GM. And it's sad that he'll be better known in history as a horrible executive than a Hall of Fame player. His recent statements of, "I think I've laid down a winning foundation here," and, "We're close to getting this team under the cap," speak volumes to how badly he's fallen from reality. They're so far away from contention that they don't even deserve my effort to make fun of them. There isn't one player on that team that deserves a paycheck, and they are just as responsible for this disastrous season as Isiah is. But he put them all together. Heavy lies the crown.
Orlando Magic: I never thought I'd say these words in a row, but they really miss Tony Battie. It's simply not fair how little help Dwight Howard has in the paint. Rashard Lewis is out of position at the 4. He floats around the 3-point line and avoids the lane like I avoid the collection basket at church. They need a banger at that position, not a daisy. When Shaq came into the league, although he dominated, the Magic weren't able to make a finals run until Horace Grant came over. The same will go for this Magic squad. Meanwhile, even if they had Battie, no way can they beat Boston or Detroit in 7. So what do they do? Probably nothing, for now. Eventually they'll need a point guard with some size and a 6th man scorer (who likely will be either Lewis or Hedo when they get a legitimate 4). Kurt Thomas would have been nice for this team, but the Spurs jumped passed everyone and stole him in a great move. Perhaps a Nick Collison, and Orlando has the expiring contracts to make it happen.
Philadelphia 76ers: They're in cost-cutting mode right now so they likely won't take on any huge contracts until they re-sign AI2 in the offseason. He'll be the future 2. Dalembert is solid at center. They need to start playing Thaddeus Young regularly at the 3. He's a freak athlete and could really be a star. Of all the teams in the league, they really need a post scorer more than anyone. Nene would be a nice addition, but with tumors actually growing inside his nutsack, he's not the kind of guy you want around your young players. Jason Smith is a backup big man, at best. Find me another white American actually starting at power forward in the league. They don't exist. At this point, I would be patient for now. Cheeks has them going in the right direction. They have young talent and a great point guard. Look to build through the draft and particularly at LSU's power forward Anthony Randolf, who should be available.
Phoenix Suns: Years from now, when I'm divorced and have a young son, I will introduce the NBA to him. Actually I'll force-feed it to him like doctors force fed a stomach pump down my throat when I accidentally on purpose took about 20 too many muscle relaxers. The day that he finally learns about the 2007-2008 Suns, he'll come up to me and say, "Dad, wait a minute, wait just a goddamned minute here. You mean to tell me that they had Steve Nash, and Leandro Barbosa, AND Grant Hill, AND Friggin' Amare Stoudamire, AND Shaquille O'Neal!!! What the hell??!! How is this possible? Who could have allowed this to happen? Wasn't anyone in charge? That's like 3 or 4 hall of famers on the same team, right? Wasn't it unfair to the rest of the league? Put the bottle down and explain this to me!!!" It will be like when I came to my dad and asked him about the movie
True Romance, "Dad, how is this movie not the greatest thing ever? It has Christian Slater, Patricia Arquette, Brad Pitt, Val Kilmer, Gary Oldham, Dennis Hopper, Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Rapaport, Tom Sizemore, Chris Penn, James Gandolfini, AND Christopher Walken, and even freaken' Bronson Pinchot!!! Plus it was written by Tarantino! It's a great movie. How come it's not considered a classic?"
The answer: Because most "experts" are cynical assholes.
Portland TrailBlazers: They have so much young talent on this team. If they don't at least win 2 championships over the next decade then something cataclysmic must have occured. I'm sitting here, actually mad at how good they're going to be, particularly next year when they have Spain's top player Rudy Fernandez coming over, plus chameleon Greg Oden. They want their eventual starting lineup to consist of Sergio Rodriguez at point, Roy at the 2, Aldridge at the 4, and Oden at the 5. The small forward spot is the one in question and I've heard rumors they want an established stud at the 3. I hope they realize they will have one in Travis Outlaw, who GMs around the league are clamoring to get their hands on if GM Kevin Pritchard is stupid enough to trade him. Outlaw should be the 3. Then off the bench they'll have Blake/Jack at point, Fernandez at 2, Webster at 3, Jones/Frye at the 4 and Przybilla at center. That's a 12 deep team. A few of them will have to go, and that's what Pritchard realizes. But it shouldn't be Outlaw. Webster and Jack, along with Darius "Yes, I am still alive" Miles and Raef "I can't believe I still get paid to do this" Lafrentz form the package that should be expendable. Bottom line: for the next decade, this team will be a 55+ win group every year.
Sacramento Kings: I always thought they should have made one more run with the nucleus of Peja, Bibby, and C-Web. They've been slowy but surely collapsing ever since they let Webber go for next to nothing. Peja then was traded for Artest. Now Bibby's gone and that glorious Laker/Kings/Mavs era is officially over. Meanwhile, they still have young talent and if they played in the East, would be right in the mix of the playoff race. Theus has them playing better than Musselman did a year ago. With Udrih, Martin, Salmons, Sheldon Williams and Spencer Hawes as a potential starting five with Fransisco Garcia off the bench, it doesn't exactly strike fear in the hearts of opponents, but it's a solid foundation. Martin is the only real keeper at this point (though I think Garcia should get more P.T. at point guard). Maybe this would be the team to take a chance on DeAndre Jordan because they're going nowhere fast and he'll have time to develop. Or maybe get a banger like Blake Griffin. But if a guy like Donte Green falls to them, they can't pass him up either.
San Antonio Spurs: For the last 3 seasons, I've picked the Spurs to win the championship every time. I was wrong once, and I believe the only reason was because Manu stupidly fouled Dirk on that drive to the basket in the closing seconds of game 7 of the WCF in '06. Had the Spurs won that game, they would have destroyed the Heat in the Finals, and D. Wade wouldn't be as overrated as he is today. The Spurs are great and deserve more respect across the league, but going into this season, I picked the Suns to finally surpass them. They were close last season, but their immaturity held them back. But they got better over the summer by adding Grant Hill. The Spurs needed to improve to keep up, but they didn't do anything. That's why I picked the Suns going in, and now more than ever, I think the Suns will finally bring the championship home to the desert. San Anton needed another scorer and they have, thus far, failed to get one. I like the signings of Mighty Mouse and especially the trade for Kurt Thomas. (They must have figured they better get him so another team doesn't.) But in the end, they needed a shooter that isn't in their 40s to take pressure off of T.D. down low and open up driving lanes for Parker and Ginobli. Finley's ok, but Bowen and Horry can barely move anymore (don't know why they traded Brent Barry and not Horry, by the way). I love their team, but this is the year they don't make the conference finals.
Seattle Sonics: In a state of limbo because they're moving soon, it's hard to really make any moves and take on more contracts. They have Durant. Green is a keeper (though looking back, they probably should have taken Yi) and Wilcox is as well. That pretty much sums it up though. They have a surplus of centers and power forwards who can't play: Sene, Swift, and Petro. Their point guards suck. They're number one goal at this point should be to get rid of all of them except Durant, Green, Wilcox, and maybe Collison, lose as many games as possible, move to Sooner country, and do whatever they have to do to draft Derrick Rose.
Toronto Raptors: A classic example of a GM and head coach being on different pages. Colangelo wants to go run and gun, European style. Sam Mitchell wants to play half-court. There is no gray area. The problem is Mitchell has coached well, and therefore Colangelo can't fire him without every NAACP member up his ass. A coach's job should be to get the best of what he has to work with. Colangelo has given him a bunch of young, fast athletes that are more suited to a fast-paced game. It's Mitchell's job to adapt. He hasn't done it yet, and that is what's holding this team back. Calderon should have been an all-star and with T.J. Ford likely coming back soon, they're set on the point. Parker is their Bruce Bowen/Raja Bell type at the 2. The problem for them is at small forward. Colangelo wants a shooter/scorer to take pressure off of Bosh and Bargnani. That's why he signed Kapono. But Mitchell realizes that Bargnani is still pretty soft at power forward and Bosh is an undersized center, so he needs to start Jamario Moon at the 3 for his defense and rebounding. In the end, Mitchell will be let go, they'll trade a draft pick for a small forward, and this team will be the East's version of the Suns/Mavs: Calderon - Nash, Parker - Bell, Bargani - Dirk, Bosh - Amare.
Utah Jazz: Amazingly, they're 18 - 3 since the Korver trade. It's incredible how much adding a shooter to a lineup changes the way everyone plays. They're still young for the most part and playing for Sloan will only get them to improve. These guys are going to be great for a long time. The only question mark they have is in the form of a 7 foot Turkish man with a funny name. Okur was M.I.A. in last year's playoffs. He's always been overrated and him making the all-star game is a bigger travesty than Salma Hayek getting nominated for an Oscar for
Frida. Eventually they know they're going to have to trade for an athletic center to combat the Duncans, Bynums, Mings and Odens. Kirilenko might end up being the bait to get one.
Washington Wizards: Where has Caron Butler come from? He's playing like an MVP. He dominates both offensively and defensively. He is the emotional leader of this team and with Arenas out, he and Jamison have picked up their games to such a degree that some morons around the league have mentioned Eddie Jordan as possible Coach of the Year. As far as improving for this year, there's not much they can do. This summer is where the questions will arise: Trade Gilbert now or risk him walking? Will Jamison re-sign? Is Nick Young the future 2-guard? I suggested earlier in the season of making a legitimate run at Kobe, and there were rumors swirling that they were going to offer Arenas and plenty more. Now that time has passed, they probably will still need another scorer in order to replace the loss of Jamison and Arenas. I think going after Elton Brand would be a good idea, who would probably welcome coming back to the East. On a side note: I can't help but look at Antawn Jamison and think, "This man has just got to be the dumbest guy in the world." I mean just look at him. Him and Jerry Stackhouse - SO stupid looking. Plus, look at his name: ANTAWN. We all know his mother gave birth to him, wanted to name him ANTOINE, but didn't understand vowels and consonents and syllables and accents, so she tried to sound it out: "Uhh, A-N-T...uhh... -A-W-N. Yeah, ANTAWN. That's going to be his name." Poor kid.
Johnny Cueto – Kid can deal. Flat deal. Three plus pitches, sweet name and a nice young face. Makings of a real ace for the next decade. Absolutely fearless and the numbers back it up. What’s not to love really? 29 K jobs to three BB’s in four starts on the bump! Love the sexy WHIP (.72). Johnny C just has no trepidations about challenging anyone. Which is truly unreal considering he's on the light side of 22. Clearly there will be bumps in the road, but the dominant starts will far outweigh the troublesome ones. The Reds are a squad on the rise. (Not on this list… Jay Bruce, Edison Volquez, Homer Bailey. They qualify, but a combination of ugliness (Volquez), ineptitude (Bailey), and zero time in the show (Bruce) led to their disqualification. 
Johnny Cueto – Kid can deal. Flat deal. Three plus pitches, sweet name and a nice young face. Makings of a real ace for the next decade. Absolutely fearless and the numbers back it up. What’s not to love really? 29 K jobs to three BB’s in four starts on the bump! Love the sexy WHIP (.72). Johnny C just has no trepidations about challenging anyone. Which is truly unreal considering he's on the light side of 22. Clearly there will be bumps in the road, but the dominant starts will far outweigh the troublesome ones. The Reds are a squad on the rise. (Not on this list… Jay Bruce, Edison Volquez, Homer Bailey. They qualify, but a combination of ugliness (Volquez), ineptitude (Bailey), and zero time in the show (Bruce) led to their disqualification. 
Zach Greinke – Definitely a member of Man Love 2004 at the supple age of 21. Started 24 games that season and posted an ERA under four for the hapless Roy-als with Cheese. Now, Greinke has matured into the oldest of the Fab Four on this list. He will be 24, b-day (Oct. ??), for all of 2008 unless KC turns into Wild Thing Rick Vaughn, Willie Mays Hayes and the rest of the Injuns from Major League 1 & 2. For the record, Greinke is by no means an Adonis, but he has boyish charm. And who doesn't love that. Kid has been filthy so far and I don’t see him letting up. Only thing to keep my main man from competing for the AL Cy Young is if he wigs out again and falls into a yawning chasm of depression. Deeper than some lame EMO queen who cuts himself in the dark listening to Panic at the Disco! It could happen.
Justin Upton – The next Ken Griffey Jr... J-Up will be “The Kid” from 1996-99 when he was blasting damn near 50 a year with 150+ RBI, 15-20 SB, and a .285-300 average (might want to curve it though since Griffey was no doubt on the dope.) Twenty years young and taking the league by storm. Player is a physical specimen and can flat rake. There’s not much more to say. Although, would love to see him start running. How lovely will it be to watch CB Young and Upton making up two-thirds of the D-Back outfield for the next 10 years. Hands down the Rookie of the Year in the NL. J-Up is just too compact and quick at the plate to regress. Plus he’s an absolute sponge. Already a different player from end of last year to Opening Day to April 22. 
Alex Gordon – What a tasty treat so far. See a lot of David Wright in his game. Of course Gordon does hit from the left side, but I see the combo of power and speed. Everyone knows the lefty swing is a work of moving art so he's got that over his 3-bag counterpart. Not quite D-Wright defensively; however, the guy is nothing short of a Greek God. A legit candidate for 30/30. Not out of the question for 100 run/ 100 RBI at some point soon considering the ever-improving KC lineup. (Only qualm: would love to see more patience at the plate. Four BB to 15 K’s in 19 games in 2008. Whiffed 137! in ’07 in 151 matches. Not doubt in my monkey brain those numbers will improve.) Also, might need to improve his looks a bit. Nothing serious, perhaps some scruffiness and a sweet hair style. I've noticed the hair is already desheveling...Nice.
The darkhorse is T-Mac. Allow me to go out on the limb here and say that if McGrady had never had these recurring back issues and ever had a chance to play with a great coach earlier in his career who demanded his accountability at the defensive end, we might be talking about him in the same light as we have the Kobe's, Duncans, and KG's over the last 7 or so years. A 6-8 terror who could score from anywhere, was practically unguardable, and could jump out of the gym. He still drops 22, 6 and 5 consistently, but you can literally see the strain in his eyes as he rises to the basket on a drive and can barely get a runner up and over a shot blocker, when 5 years ago he would have dunked with ease. He deserves an entire article here. But the bottom line is this: he's gotten a depleted Rockets team up to third place 3/4 of the way through the season in the most difficult conference any of us has ever seen. If he keeps it up through season's end, then his name does deserve to be mentioned in the original 5 that I pointed out earlier.
Applying this to today's race, it especially stands out as the major difference between Kobe and Lebron. Kobe makes his teammates better. Lebron does not. All of Kobe's teammates have improved since playing with him, from Farmar to Fisher to Luke Walton and particularly to Andrew Bynum. Bryant has demanded they get better. All of Lebron's teammates have not improved. In fact, if anything, they've gotten worse. Larry Hughes was a borderline all-star before coming to play with King James, where he was labeled a bust. Ilgauskas was a former all-star, and his numbers have gotten worse nearly every year since James came into the league.
